A SuperHero Story

I am no hero,
never want to be one;
I don’t want to fly
and caress the sun.

I want to cry;
want to be petrified;
feel betrayed; curse with
chewed lips held tight.

I can’t always stand to be brave,
I want to be on my knees.
pray, and garner hope,
get caressed and weep.

I am no hero;
I don’t want to be the one.
I don’t want to fly
and caress the sun.

I want to be with them,
the hearts and souls of me;
take them in my arms and
hide away from stark reality.

I want to be in the crowd
with that helpless look.
and as the brave souls fight
hide; hide only if I could.

I am no hero
never wanted the role;
overrule the call
unheard what I am told;

But then who?
Somebody have to.

And if any single soul
can take my rifle and fire,
do my dirty job;
with a smile, I will retire.

But guess I am the best;
no other can do it better,
so, I would clean the wretch.

and will face the bullets
the mindless hand grenades;
I can’t hide, no time to weep,
have to crawl beside the dead.

But believe me,
a hero, I never want to be.
Believe me; even heroes pray,
and have unfulfilled dreams;

for I never wanted to be a hero;
never wanted the role;
there is no pleasure
in impaling a chest with holes;

yes, for now I am your hero,
a gentle soul with a firing gun;
I will do the filthy job,
till there comes another brave son;




( A tribute to the NSG commandos fighting that fateful day a year ago... real heroes)

Apocalypse Now...Atlast

Really bored of writing poetry....specially as there is no muse to amuse...it has become impossibly hard to find any other topic but my favourite of a disillusioned being wandering and cursing with chewed lips. I am really bored. I have to search something optimistic, something to cheer up. In a way I have hit plateau even before I could have commenced the journey uphill.
The last one...House of Cards ....has its name picked up (or as Mudit says”blatantly plagiarised” from a Track of Radiohead...wonderful song) and have personally favourite tone of a lost being... but this time not blaming or fighting but already accepted defeat with no lamenting left...just trying to escape but unfortunately still stuck there. The idea propelled by an image that I conceived........a guy with painted face and having a downward curled lips made from thick burgundy colour and artificial expressions; dance, fall and perform hilarious histrionics. He is dressed in a ragged coat, have a round hat, a stick (using to perform the act) and black pants with strips that are hesitating to reach his toes. The ebonized stage has a spotlight...and the buffoon is performing there. The dappled floor reflects the light and shows us a gentle damsel with saddened face and lost eyes sitting with her chin resting on the palm. The clown is trying his best with all the fool play but can’t get her attention. And still is not ending the performance...still not leaving the stage...It should have a soothing music as background. This scene is a wonderful shot and maybe someday I will utilise the thought somewhere. And as I am writing this piece, a friend appreciated my ability to do totally useless things with great panache. Well of course he is right; it certainly takes something to do this.
So, let us end it here....the rest actually doesn’t make sense. Ok ...So what’s more.....Yeah...
Recently I saw Apocalypse Now. bahut itminaan se banai movie hai..... The director took all his time... really nice and really insane... sometimes I think I have to stop seeing these psyche twisting movies. They always leave a permanent scratch in my mind. But this movie is must watch....Even if it shove you into deeper and darker hind spots of mind... and make you face the truths which after being revealed ..heals nothing...but leaves scars...and forces you to remember the horrors.
Ok...now I am bored writing this stuff too...It is also not making any sense.

House of Cards

I am standing alone,
with lights spotting on me
you sat on the darker table,
looking somewhere,
somewhere, where I am not
so beautiful you,
lost in other's thought.
and I danced, I joked
I slipped to give the petals of rose
a tinge of smile...
Did they flutter,
Did they blossomed?
No, for they will smile for him

I want to run,
I want to leave,
take my baggage with me
and leave you here
with your blank stare,
your woes and your little prayer.
It would be so easy,
No final goodbye
No misty eyes, no sighs
No consolations,
No surprises or revelations.
No more seekings, no more hides.
I want to Flow, run, fly...
away...somewhere...nowhere.

But you are still, not moving.
Sitting pretty with your palm under the chin
and I think " I know your fears
I dont need your hints."
I cant leave you alone.
So, I have to stay
I have to fall more,
Laugh more and joke
until he takes you away.
I have to be there,
take the pain,
I will bear it,
if it gives you strength.


I can see him approach,
I can sense your faint smile
I can sense you healing,
you have been alone for a while.

and he seems to be so much like me....
how can i compete,
make myself win
by handing myself defeat.
So, goodbye..
hidden tears,no cries


I will blow my house of cards
slowly,slowly in disaligned parts
and the gust will carry it out,
what is it for,if you arent here, my heart?
I am blowing my house of cards,
You hide your cards safely,
under your fluffing stole,
in place of my heart
and the stories that I have told.