-ides-

I feel cold,
I see you walk on toe-tip,
faint whispers from frail lips.
and I see the way you hide,
dissolving somewhere inside.

I see you in blur
fusing with others.
pushed by the chaos
to a deeper, darker side .

and you sway
you smile, deride.
I am in misery,
I am lost in a tide.

and you are flowing
in the circles of white
locking my sight,
with your maudlin eyes.

thoughtless, I hope to move
but my ankles are tied.
You are blooming in full glow
as I chafe, stuck in ides.

I am so afraid
I am so concerned about myself
that I may lose, that I may need help.
that you may no longer be there
tired of the wait
tired of me being so late.
tired, just tired.
and then you will walk away.

and you did walk away.

Ciao!

{Blank} {/Blank}

Enough. Enough Now.

B-Bye

But where was I,

When the spring blew whistles

Over the swaying trees?

And where was I,

When golden foliage was getting

Crushed Beneath novelty’s feet?

Where was I, then?

Where were you?

Ah! Listening to birds’ ephemeral songs,

We strolled sans care on the ageing grass,

Deeming in that it will last.

You flipped your creed.

You were there, I see.

But where was I, then?

May be I was outside your glass palace,

When you were blowing those mournful sighs,

Glancing over shoulder, to your wasteful dreams.

Forgetting a part of that waste was “I”.

Trespassing your memory kaleidoscope,

My face must have surfaced and then eloped.

As you jittered inside your glasshouse,

I saw you.

Yes, I was then, there.

And I am still, here

Outside your house of glass,

Among the insignia of past.

I see you,

You have emotions still waving

As you laughed, you smiled

And then you cried.

You are still living,

I am watching you numb,

I have already died.

************************

Dyed Eyes die ( or beauty fades) (or Someone loves what someone hates)

I boarded a ship and it was tied to the port.
For 2 years it dint move.
I looked at the doves from far off.

and all the while she saw me and smiled.
played with her hair, and her eyes- dyed.

Autumn greeted with sly smile
winter was harsh and riled.
few counted their memories
few mouthed their ghostly nights.

and all the while she saw me and smiled
played with her hair and her eyes- dyed.

Changing colors, my friend and I see
dancing lights under a prism display.
I wanted to cross the river of guilt.
he wanted to enjoy the show wallowing in bay.

and all the while she saw me and smiled
played with her hair and her eyes- dyed.

Then one day, as I walked off the boat
into the glimmering lights of shore.
She walked beside, close to my face
time stopped for the angel draped in lace.

and all the while she saw me and smiled
played with her hair but her eyes died.

My commiserations
but beauty fades!

My footprints over a velvet underground.

what I have now?
Let's see -
few words that don't match
the thoughts in my mind
and thoughts, whose meaning
I am unable to find

A voice shouting Sunday morning,
and the roof, which I haven't seen
for so long.
A velvet undergound,
where I am gagged and bound.

Oh he says again, "It's a restless feeling,
oh, it is wasted years, that you are dealing"

and I say (rather should say)
"wait, you idiot, let there be day.
You will hide then,
your brother will creep out of shadow.
because you are young and callow."

And because it is late.
because it is too late.

Sleep off now.
You fool!

Poet's Note: "Sunday Morning" by Velvet underground...Exquisite.
Late night scribbling...as always .. Rooobish.

Purloined thoughts

Keep quiet
open the windows
duck below
there is a lesson
there is a lesson
to be learnt.

He is a shadow
he can never be alone.
but is dark.
He's a broken star
He's a blinded star
mend him please.

She is a lore
Her children are bore
They go to slumber
as she remembers
herself
herslef
listen to her please.

She is so fine
marble skin washed in wine.
He drools at someone else
She waits alone, never tells
her heart is broken
her heart is broken
kiss her please.

I am in here
with blank stares
closed corners
confining borders
take me out in open
bring me out in open
leave me there please.

Oblique...for it is too late (or too early)

As I grow old
I become less mystic to myself.
My shine is lost.
I am getting engulfed in whirlpool
spitted out of dream.

And I can see you
swirling in,
laughing
or smiling.
It is too fast, hard to tell difference.

But do I know you?

I am not irritated.
For I don't want more than much.
I am singing a song maybe
but hell, the same song, a lot of people have sung.

But what if I hum a different tune.
what if it is the one which only I hum.
or beat the drum like ...dum da dum dum.
whats the difference, if I am one of thousands or alone.
whether I stand in the front or the last one in the queue.
Among many or enchanting few.

Is it a start or the dying end.
Tell tell me dear friend.

For look at this huge land
I need to cover this.
But only till the sun shine.
And I slept when it was dark.
I dint see the sun rise.
and now the sun is red.

tell, have I slept too much
or too less?
Tell me have the battle begun?

For I can see only a red sun.
For all I can see is a red sun.

May be it's time. I am done.
May be it's time. should I run?

Maybe it's time.
maybe.....

Chance and Loss

Her eyes - ruby, diamond, emerald type.
Her words, honey drops purified.
I love the way she twitched lips,
she swirled her fingers over the coffe mug.
Dint you notice , din't you notice how beautiful she is?

Clock has stopped talking,
time has passed crawling beside me.
I am still here.
and she is here waiting.

If I was you
would not have let her gaze across the tinted glass
would not let her wait
brought the buildings down
sank the rivers
crossed the mountains top
to be with her
but I am not you.

Oh! You damn fool
Oh! damn fool
I am here and you are not
but she waits for you
Oh damn, you fool
She waits for you.

Come along now.

Sunglasses

What was there to see?
It was all cliched
It was all predictable
It was cleanly ordered
and was fairly labelled

The mob had all the known gestures
the greetings were rehearsed the night before
the weather turned out damp and grey
as good as the forecast had foretold

Disinterested people weren't interesting
so I din't push my efforts in vain
I concealed myself into darker sights
I didn't even try to feign

I strolled amongst us for a while
sticking along a polite smile
and then after a while
I slipped inside to hide.

Banal bystander

Kya kare Zindagi, isko hum jo mile,
Iski jaan khaa gaye, raat din ke gile.

The days are nowadays like the electric poles next to railway tracks. And my life, the train, is whooshing past so speedily that I am unable to detect any noticeable differences among the poles....all feel bloody same.

A SuperHero Story

I am no hero,
never want to be one;
I don’t want to fly
and caress the sun.

I want to cry;
want to be petrified;
feel betrayed; curse with
chewed lips held tight.

I can’t always stand to be brave,
I want to be on my knees.
pray, and garner hope,
get caressed and weep.

I am no hero;
I don’t want to be the one.
I don’t want to fly
and caress the sun.

I want to be with them,
the hearts and souls of me;
take them in my arms and
hide away from stark reality.

I want to be in the crowd
with that helpless look.
and as the brave souls fight
hide; hide only if I could.

I am no hero
never wanted the role;
overrule the call
unheard what I am told;

But then who?
Somebody have to.

And if any single soul
can take my rifle and fire,
do my dirty job;
with a smile, I will retire.

But guess I am the best;
no other can do it better,
so, I would clean the wretch.

and will face the bullets
the mindless hand grenades;
I can’t hide, no time to weep,
have to crawl beside the dead.

But believe me,
a hero, I never want to be.
Believe me; even heroes pray,
and have unfulfilled dreams;

for I never wanted to be a hero;
never wanted the role;
there is no pleasure
in impaling a chest with holes;

yes, for now I am your hero,
a gentle soul with a firing gun;
I will do the filthy job,
till there comes another brave son;




( A tribute to the NSG commandos fighting that fateful day a year ago... real heroes)

OuT Of The WiLd

Sleepy grey with a tinge of glint;

Footprints on the damp soil;

Gush of wind chasing wilderness;

The blackness hides crooked questions' coil.

The phantom throngs never depart;

and the deafening Babel rain;

the directions misleading the course;

as I change the tread again.

Farther, the landscape entice;

but tired limbs betray;

I oppose the tease and garner strength;

“No more wander; Here, I stay."

And then I felt the beauty;

It blinds;

I am through now.

I am out of the wild.

A Stroll to Perdition

It started with a whimper;
And that fake wicked simper.
He took the pouch in his hand;
With the other one the pouch was rent.
The nodding head then called me close.
“Common mate, you too have a dose.
Oh! Its nostrum of every disease;
Remedy for all your unattained needs.”
I looked up with suspicious stare.
They shouted, “He is a kid! He just can not dare.”
I saw them putting powder into the sticks;
They puffed the vague smoke from burning lips.
The ephemeral circles lost shape approaching the roof.
Against my soul, my desires plotted hideous coup.
I picked up the stick, throwing the remaining trifle sedition.
And from there on I started on this long walk to perdition.

The cold syringe dived into the hot cadaver.
The tranquility numbed my innocence for ever.
The somatic pleasure but also lasted for brief;
For the lungs huffed up the repartee of grief.
The parasitic ecstasy though was now deeply entrenched;
For the elixir of life became synonymous to this nefarious stench.
Ah! The malediction masticated my holy creed.
My pocket shrank, unable to feed my malignant needs.
I wandered with bane in the lanes of trepidation;
Ah! Still I continued my stroll to perdition.
**************

Then a solemn lane burnt with twilight.
I saw the cure that can bring me out of my plight.
The lady was walking with unsteady steps;
Her purse was hidden securely under the drapes.
I searched again my trousers; found a gun and just a penny.
My heart thumped the chest, nudging me for the felony.
I thought it easy to threaten her with the gun.
But against my favor the dice of fate was already spun.
“Hurry on lady!” shivered my voice;
“Either part with money or life, your choice.”
Her shriek panicked the weakened hand.
And the trigger moved to begin the perennial repent.
As she falls down, the twilight turned cerise;
And I realized, for too long Satan had my sanity on lease.
My soul now carries the bruises of my morbid deeds.
Ah! This crawl to perdition; will it ever cease?

CLAMOUR

Nobody listens; they play the music loud;
Everybody holds an issue; everyone in the crowd.
So they shout; aloud.

Nudging the shoulders to find their way out;
Swamp of faces draped with piles of redundant doubts.
And they shout; aloud

The passage blocked; no hermitage of own;
The mob tightens close then why we feel alone?
Confused! I frown.

The clamor; the shout; I know where it hides.
It is buried deep down inside.
And I wait for the last;
When the noise will blast;

Then I will pick my squandered self;
For this clamor overrides the cry for help.